TripOut Gay Travel:
My Top Ten: Baltimore by Flora Wolpert-Checknoff
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Metal Hearts is a hot rising rock outfit. Here’s where the openly gay front-woman Flora likes to “socialize” in her hometown.

He’s a totally cute, tallish guy from Azerbaijan. She’s a totally cute, short lesbian from Maryland. They’re both avid shoplifters and live in Baltimore. And they form the brilliantly mellow/intensely melodious and studiously sexy duo Metal Hearts. They’ve been compared to Modest Mouse, Arab Strap and Cat Power, and their music’s been called electronic experimental folk. And when Anar Badalov and Flora Wolpert-Checknoff got acquainted, it was thanks to a girl. “We met through my sexy Greek best friend,” says Flora. “Anar was dating her that month, and I had dated her in kindergarten,” Somehow they went from high school rivals to musical collaborators and the results can be heard on their latest CD, Socialize (Suicide Squeeze), which the Baltimore City Paper called an “accomplished, a sustained mood piece of prime bummed-out rock music.” They’ve recently been featured on MTV’s “You Hear It First,” too.

Flora and Anar and their newly added bandmate/drummer Sam Leiber, have been touring the country like maniacs for much of this year, but we still were able to convince hometown girl to give us her run-down on her favorite things back in Baltimore. And if you know anything about the quirky Maryland metropolis (home of John Waters, Divine, Kiki & Herb’s Justin Bond and dance diva Ultra Nate) you know that it’s got way more to offer than just good crabs and a nice baseball stadium.

Here’s what Flora lined up as her favorite places in the Monument City.

– John Polly

In my on-the-road delirium, I will attempt to outline a Baltimore I love to remember. I must sayalthough I’m not one to frequent the most obviously gay-centric establishments, I know my way around the gay-friendly hot spots and the best places to scope out a dish.

Dining

Paper Moon Dinerserves as the most happening 24-hour hang-out. Any Baltimore activity may very well be concluded at the Paper Moon as the sun is rising. Morbid toy art leers and covers the brightly painted walls while the menu is a perfect balance of greasy diner food and healthy yupster cuisine.

The Helmand sits a block north of a Baltimore gem: Cobble-stoned Mount Vernon square is bordered by the Peabody Music Conservatory and the Walther’s Art Gallery as the original Washington Monument stands tall in its center. The Helmand is a beautiful Afghan restaurant, perfect for you and a date to act out your mouths’ wildest dreams togetherthe food’s delicious. Fancy and pricy, smack dab in the middle of our minute gay district… if you don’t consider the whole town to be one, as I seem to.

Pretty

Robert E. Lee Park straddles the city limits and suburbia. After following a brief windy road, the trees will open up to reveal a sizeable dam. Walk past the dam and discover abandoned train tracks along a well-traveled trail and a comfortingly secluded lake. Keep walking and end up in Pennsylvania, or set up a picnic next to a tree and watch the water until dusk.

Sherwood Gardens. Venture into the rolling hills of gaudy Guilford for a relaxing nap at this lush neighborhood garden. I don’t know enough to name the impressive things that bloom there in the springtime, but I do know that it’s a great place to bring your baseball mitt or frisbee (or a bucket of fried chicken) and spend a weekend afternoon.

Entertainment

The Charles. The handful of intriguing films that make it to Baltimore are bound to be shown at this second home to any movie buff. It’s got a sleek interior and the emaciated-Calvin Kelin model–”I have a philosophy degree and work at the movie theater now”–employees will serve you the best popcorn in town with a rare, sweet smile. Lovingly sandwiched between an always-bustling tapas bar and crepe joint, the Charles guarantees a pleasant evening.

Talking Head Club. My band, like many other young fledgling music nerds, was raised in this fine hole-in-the-wall bed of fun. It puts on shows by both your unrehearsed bedroom project and your favorite international act with equal care and respect. The audience (if there is one) is always greatly welcoming in nature and emanates a feeling of community unheard of on the cold, harsh east coast. Cover is cheap, the bartender’s cute and charming, if you’re fiending for some down-to-earth drinking and rock, check this club out.

Enrichment

American Visionary Art Museum. This acclaimed, truly one-of-a-kind spotlight for common folk artists, or often those with mental disabilities and illnesses, has a thought-provoking atmosphere of its own. The building itself is a work of art, ornamented inside and out and reeking of Baltimore’s wacky style. Just across the street, you can climb Federal Hill and look out over the commercialized Inner Harbor as old ships and paddle boats float around in the shimmering industrial sludge.

Sculpture Garden, Baltimore Museum of Art. A sanctuary of flowers and art, I used to take refuge here after cutting class in high school. It’s wedged between the BMAa city staple as well as a stunning place to stroll throughand the Johns Hopkins University campus/hipster hood of Charles Village.

Music

The Sound Garden. Most addictive record store south of the Mason Dixon. Vast selection, cheap deals, knowledgeable staff and rubbed with an appropriate amount of dust and grit. It’s in historical Fells Point and presents a nice pause from the endless rows of bars.

Coffee

One World Café. I’m no vegan, but this place has one of the most enticing meat-free and dairyless menus I’ve experienced. Get your health on at the chillest early morning/late night coffee/tea/whatever you need from the funky-haired waitron laze-around on the edge of Charles Village. Leave feeling cleansed in your soul.

For more about Metal Hearts, their music, their shows and their world, visit their site at www.metalheartsmusic.com

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